What To Do When Your Girlfriend Is With You on a Rebound
You have gotten to know your colleague really well. You like her too and are looking forward to getting into a relationship with her. The feeling is reciprocated, but the only problem is that she has just broken out of a painful relationship. You may be worried, and rightly so, that this could be a rebound relationship for her. However, while a rebound is not healthy for either person, it can be dealt with, and there is no reason why you cannot eventually maintain a healthy relationship with her.
When Is It a Rebound?
It is not necessary that just because she has recently had a break-up, this is a rebound. However, if she has constantly been depending on you emotionally, and mostly the entire relationship has been about you being like a sponge to soak up her feelings, this is most likely a rebound. If it has been so, you need to take certain steps to protect yourself and her from more pain.
Hazards of a Rebound
Rebound relationship is not just a fancy term. It identifies a very real situation where one person is leaning on the other to deal with pain, overwhelming emotions and the fright of being suddenly left alone. Basically, she has not chosen a partner who she necessarily loves for his qualities and personality. She needs someone firm to lean on, and when she eventually recovers her emotional balance, she may find that he is not really meant for her, and this can cause both people pain. He will feel used and she will feel guilty, and they will both be hurt. This is the kind of scenario you need to protect yourself from.
Wait Before You Plunge
If you get into a relationship with her, it is important that she is with you because of your personality and your qualities. The best way to ensure this is to quietly suggest to her that you would like to wait a few weeks till she calms down and gets a grip over herself, before you consider this step of a relationship. This may not be conveyed in so many words, but it is an important decision. In the meanwhile, you can keep supporting her as a friend.
Spending Happy Times
If you are going out together, choose a place that is fun and happy and will not bring up painful memories for her. See if you can spend an entire evening without discussing her recent break-up and the pain she is going through.
Sharing Your Own Personality
Over some time, you need to make sure that your relationship is not just one way traffic of her conveying her emotions and you offering your support. Try to make sure that she finds out about you in more ways. Share with her the kind of person you are, what you think, what you like and how you feel about things. Before you finally make a commitment with each other, she should know who you are.
If you are prepared to be mature about this and wait, both of you will get the opportunity to realize whether you can sustain a healthy relationship with each other.
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